Hug & Feed: A Quick & Easy Holiday Survival Guide

At this writing, we are three weeks from Thanksgiving. Many of us programmers are taking fewer label calls, slowing down on our adds, and getting ready to go all-out with Christmas programming as soon as the wobbly cranberry sauce leftovers make their way into the fridge...only to be discovered again when we do our annual "get the junk food out of the house" purge in time for New Year's resolutions.

I have never felt like I've gotten it right with Christmas programming. When I was a PD, I always felt like I was playing the wrong music or didn't have enough imaging-or had too much syrupy content. Now that I'm an MD, I know that no matter what music I pick, someone will offer a reason why it's wrong. It's too 'Christian' or not 'Christian' enough. Or there's too much or too little of it. For years, this season has felt exhausting at work, which bleeds into being exhausted at home. Which makes me want to just get through the season so we can go back to normal.

Maybe you're with me on this.

My morning show co-host and I had a chance to interview Amy Grant (aka "The Queen of Christmas") last week. We stumbled into a discussion about the holidays at the Gill/Grant house. When asked about the traditions she shares with her family, she said something I hope I never forget. She said simply, "We keep it pretty low-key. We just make sure that everyone's been hugged and fed and the rest of it doesn't matter."

(Side Note: Maybe my thoughts don't mean anything to you, but if you ignore the Queen of Christmas, surely your tree will crash through your window, you'll spill red wine all over your white carpet, and your great aunt's Jell-O salad will be full of cat food.)

The keys to doing more than surviving Christmas and actually feeling like what you're doing matters? Just two words: HUG and FEED.

As programmers and music decision makers and on-air hosts, I think we spend too much energy stressing about the stuff that doesn't matter - do we play only Jesus Christmas music? Do we play the classics? Do we play the classics, but only by those artists that we can prove didn't drink alcohol or dance with women or wear shiny shoes? We spend hours obsessing over these things and forget about the hugging and feeding of our listeners.

Music aside, what is it that you can bring that makes someone feel loved and cared for? What is it their soul is craving? Do they need that moment of honesty where you admit that your family gatherings are tough and you'd rather not go visit with your super political parents, but you feel like it is the honorable thing to do? Do they need a "Hey, money is tight for me too" confession? Do they need that nostalgic story of that time when there was a hot chocolate spill on the carpet and mom got super mad at your sister and she got grounded from Christmas for the rest of her life when it was actually your fault? These memories of the good and bad are what help us do the hugging and the feeding.

They can get their music anywhere (and do). What your listeners really need this time of year is you. Not another silly, "seven things men want most for Christmas" list. No man I have ever met has actually wanted any of the things on any of those lists anyway. When you sit elbow-to-elbow at a folding table with your cousin and his new girlfriend, are you reading lists? You're not. You're sharing memories of the time your brother dumped his plate all over his lap, you're saying a prayer for the sister who is deployed over the holidays, and you're sneaking slices of Aunt Mary's fruitcake to the dog hiding under the table. In those moments, you are hugging and you are feeding.

If you're like me, many of your stories aren't warm and fuzzy. Maybe they're hard and when you think about them, you get a giant lump in your throat and your eyes burn from holding back tears. It's okay-it's part of who you are. It's your turn to be hugged and fed. That hug may come from a listener in the form of an email or a phone call, or that meal may not happen until your next fundraiser when you get that $30 gift with a note saying, "I remember you sharing that story about the Christmas after your parents split up...I have been there too...let me give back to you."

Give yourself and your listeners a gift by stressing less about the testing and rotations and bits and pieces of programming, and just be YOU during the holidays. Every time you open the mic, consider the words "hug and feed." You're deeper and more complex than someone who fills in breaks by reading stock content off of the internet. If you're just doing that, you're spewing word vomit, and no one needs vomit on Christmas, especially on Amy Grant's stations.

Hug and Feed. It's what Queen Amy would do.