Your Handy Refresher Course On Using Guests (Revised)

"I must be listening to too much sports talk lately."

That was a friend talking the other day. Okay, that got my attention. Why?

"Because the same guests show up on both stations within thirty minutes of each other. That's lame."

He was talking about his two local sports talk stations. "Yeah," I said, "the same guests make the rounds...."

"But this is too much." Then he noted what he heard, including some guests who weren't exactly big draws. I noted that it's especially common when there's something to promote; The guests book pretty much every station they can and just rip through them, one after the other.

"Yeah, but no one thinks that listeners might punch from one sports station to another, and hear the same guests. And the one that gets the guests the second time look bad."

There's an answer for that, and we'll come to it as part of yet another Refresher Course on Using Guests, which always starts with "You Don't Need Guests" as the general rule but then recognizes that you're going to have guests anyway, so at least let's make them work well for you.

Regarding that guest duplication thing, generally, it's hard to avoid it unless you just don't book guests for whom you won't have a market exclusive. And you won't have a market exclusive, because guests don't have a reason to give you that. They're there to promote something, so you can't expect them to limit themselves to your show. And I'm not sure it matters if you have a guest first or second in your town; It depends on a) how the first one goes, and b) whether your stations share a lot of audience. There's a solution to that, though: Make every other segment compelling enough so that the listeners won't hit the button and discover your guest yukking it up with your competition. They won't know about the other interview if they're still listening to you.

Speaking of multiple bookings, if you're getting someone for a limited time in the midst of one of those satellite tours or whirlwind circuits of every station in the market, you're in danger of getting an interview that's more often than not going to suck. I hear that all the time, when a guest has that "what city is this for? Let's just get this over with" sound. Some guests are really into it, but some make it clear they aren't. It's a crap shoot, and you need to be selective when jumping on one of those things. A disinterested guest, even a household-name one, will drive listeners away.

You -- the host, especially, because it's your show and your ultimate call -- should be willing to turn down even an A-list guest if the circumstances aren't right. Here's what you need to ask about each guest:

1. Is this going to make good radio? The answer better be yes. If it is....

2. Do I have anything to ask or say to this guest, and will the guest have anything to say to me? It's not good for your show if you get the A-listiest of A-listers and he or she has nothing to say and you don't care about him or her. In that regard....

3. Will I be able to ask this guest ANYTHING? We saw that with a couple of recent interviews that made the news this week. If a celebrity comes with the proviso that some topics are off-limits, why are you doing the interview in the first place? If a celebrity is all over TMZ and the tabloids for personal problems and you CAN'T ask about them, what's left? "How's your golf game?" "What's your next album project about?" If a politician is... well, ALL politicians are fair game for anything, and you should have no qualms about asking them very tough questions. Don't be obsequious. You HAVE to be fearless. And if you instead fear the publicists' wrath, or the politicians' scorn, don't book the interview. It's better to be the show without the big name guest than the one that did a deadly dull interview with one.

4. Do I know what to do with the guest? That involves planning. It's not just the questions you'll ask, it's how the guest will be integrated into the show, what your goal is for what you'll get out of the appearance, whether you'll have the guest take listener calls (and you should do that whenever possible -- you're the connection between the audience and the guest, and enabling them to feel like they can talk to the big names is a plus for you).

5. Is this going to make good radio? Yes, that was Question 1, too. But it's the most important one. Unless your show is nothing but interviews, you don't NEED guests. You need GOOD guests whom people will want to hear. Otherwise, there's no point.

This should all be pretty elementary, including the even more obvious stuff I left out this time (frequently remind listeners who you're talking to, don't book a bad guest to get a good one, etc.), but I hear too many interviews going nowhere and offering listeners ample opportunity to tune away. And that's when you get my friend bouncing from station to station and noticing the sameness. Do a better job with interviews and they'll never know what the other guys are up to.

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It's been a busy week and I'm too tired to be all that creative with the plug for All Access News-Talk-Sports' Talk Topics column, so I'll just say that it's where you can find hundreds of topics, kickers, and conversation starters for any radio show. Examples from this week: Facebook flirting, a woman "knee deep in weasels," why you should be worried about one particular computer virus, the reason some college football teams are running up the score, why pie is the new cupcake, the illegal immigrant college student body president, a handy recipe for a Four Loko-equivalent, why one town's "Citizen of the Year" is declining the honor, a Burger King receipt with a special message, and a lot of other stuff, including "real news" from Rangel to the economy to food prices in China (really). More? How about a timely "10 Questions With..." syndicated "The Career Clinic" host and career advisor Maureen Anderson, who has some words for those of you who are unemployed or fear that you might be one of these days? And, of course, there's the usual industry-leading news, job listings, columns, music charts, and other resources at All Access, all free.

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There won't be a column next week, since it'll be Thanksgiving weekend here in the U.S. of A. But there will be fresh content all the way through at AllAccess.com, and we'll be reconvening for one last 2010 column in two weeks before we close out the year. Until then, have a great holiday.

Perry Michael Simon
Editor
All Access News-Talk-Sports
psimon@allaccess.com
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