Making It Matter

Hey, before I start, does anyone else think that it's strange that while Advertising Week is going on in New York, the NAB and RAB will be convening in Washington?

Maybe it's just me, but I would think that if your industry lives and dies on advertising revenue, and the advertising industry is gathering in one place, your people might want to gather there with them, too, rather than a long Amtrak ride away. I know that, at least, Clear Channel is at Advertising Week with a couple of "here's why we're great" panels and the online virtual radio station that nobody will actually listen to, and the Radio Mercury Awards will be there on Monday, but if the NAB and the RAB are going to gather the biggest names in the industry in one place at the same time the advertising industry's doing the same, shouldn't it all be in, you know, the same place?

Washington is, of course, where industry goes to lobby legislators, and I suppose you could argue that having the NAB and RAB conventions there enables that. But they, and you, can go lobby those guys any time. In fact, I strongly suggest you do that, and not wait until a convention for it. Go and meet with your elected officials and tell them what you want them to do, to which they'll either a) have an aide discreetly ask for a "donation," or b) stare at you glassy-eyed, grin and nod, and thank you for coming. At least, that's how I THINK lobbying works. They prefer cash, by the way.

But the troops will gather next week anyway so they can have highly important meetings with each other, while the agency people are elsewhere on panels with Internet media types. Timing is, as always, everything. The radio industry needs to work on its timing.

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The elections are coming up, and I wanted to talk about it here and discuss what I've been hearing and the good and bad stuff hosts are doing in covering the races and the issues, but I'm going to keep it as simple as possible by returning to what long-time readers will recognize as a recurring theme of this column. It's very basic. When you're talking about the issues and the candidates and anything about the election, do what you should always do, no matter what the topic is, whether it's political or not:

Tell me why I should care. Tell me what it means for ME.

I think that should be the ultimate rule for programming for the PPMs. Forget all the detailed analysis and the measuring of how the numbers spike when the news anchor farts and dip when there's a commercial. We make these things seem like rocket science, when it's more simple than that. If the host explains to me, concisely and entertainingly, why a topic matters to me, I will stick with the show and listen through the stop sets. Make me care and I WILL care, and I'll stay tuned to hear more. Will this issue cost me money? Will my health care suffer or improve? Will there be more or fewer jobs for me? Sure, we can laugh about this candidate's faux pas or scorn another's ineptitude, but get to the bottom line: If this person gets elected, what will it mean for my wallet, my standard of living, my future? Let me know what's at stake and why it matters to me, and I'll listen longer. Do the usual my-guy's-great-the-other-guy's-evil thing and I don't really need to stick around, do I?

I'm not going to tell you not to talk election stuff -- it is, after all, talk radio's Super Bowl, or at least its NFC Championship game. And there will be hosts who do fine by concentrating on the usual us-versus-them stuff; you probably saw that article from Marketwatch all about how the partisan talk's making money these days. Fine. All I'm saying is that making it relatable can make your show better and keep listeners loyal. That's not so bad, is it?

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Talk hosts cannot live by elections alone, so... okay, some hosts do. But whether you do or don't, you can always find something to talk about at All Access News-Talk-Sports and the celebrated Talk Topics column of random stuff-to-talk-about. This week's pile includes an alleged McDonald's mishap, pot ice cream, a dog poop catcher, a mystery stench, the rise in coffee prices, foreclosure troubles, eyeball-eating worms, the seasonal proliferation of "pop-up stores," a pub in a funeral home, how the Obama administration will try to sell the health care plan to you, a city that Google Maps keeps losing, the Republicans' "Pledge to America," things being smuggled into jail in prisoners' butts, edible insects, an unfortunate spelling error on a billboard, the dominatrix next door, America's best bathroom, and much more. Oh, and if you prefer your show prep in headline form with links directly to each individual item, or if you just like a stream of amusing or provocative stories, try the Talk Topics Twitter feed (twitter.com/talktopics).

This week, you'll also find "10 Questions With..." Craig Shemon, who recently joined Sporting News Radio after a long run at Fox Sports Radio. Read about his career and the change to SNR, then check out the rest of All Access, where you'll find all the radio and music industry news first, fastest, and best, plus columns, ratings, job listings, and all the resources you need, all free.

Also, don't forget to follow the Net News Twitter feed at twitter.com/allaccess, and my own personal Twitter feed at twitter.com/pmsimon ("personal" meaning "not All Access' responsibility"). Download the All Access iPhone app by clicking here or the All Access Android app by clicking here; both apps were developed by our friends at jacAPPS. And pmsimon.com is where I post random thoughts, videos, and scans that amuse or interest me, and, once again, that's not All Access' fault, just mine.

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I'll be at that convention next week, so look for more ill-tempered rambling in this spot next Friday. That, or just a whole column about the Phillies. That's one thing about which I'm not complaining right now.

Perry Michael Simon
Editor
All Access News-Talk-Sports
psimon@allaccess.com
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