Try A Different Club Next Time

I don't play golf. We have several golf courses in our immediate vicinity, but I don't play, partly because I don't have the time, partly because I don't have the patience, and partly because I know that I'll embarrass myself. It's a safe bet that I'd hit nothing but ground balls and weak flares into the rough. So I save myself the trouble and find other means of recreation, like running, where the embarrassment is limited to being known in my town as "that flabby guy who's always out there plodding along."

And I was plodding on the path next to a golf course this morning watching a couple of guys playing a round. They were both decked out in official Serious Golfer clothes with brand logos and everything, and they patiently waited for a course worker to get off the green before one, a tall guy, teed up his ball, took some practice swings, stepped confidently up to the tee, precisely measured his swing, pulled his club back, swung, and peered into the distance to watch where his shot would land.

At his feet, the ball hopped about ten feet and stopped. His buddy hesitated, then pointed at the ball, and both of them immediately looked over in my direction to check if I'd seen the mishap.

I averted my eyes. No need to rub it in.

Everyone fears embarrassment on some level. We often forget the good things that happen to us, we forget the important things like, say, our Social Security numbers or anniversaries, but we never forget the time... well, everyone has their own red-faced moments. You know yours. And the more you remember, the more you fear making another mistake.

Mistakes happen in radio. You saw what happened when the Dallas sports talker posted an unfortunate -- to say the least -- tweet last weekend. You've heard hosts accidentally drop f-bombs and s-bombs and more on the air and not quite hit the dump button in time (just today, while looking into one instance of an on-air f-bomb this week, I heard an s-bomb dropped live on another show). You've seen shows launched with great fanfare that flopped, and format flips that left everyone involved with egg on their faces.

But if you hit a lousy tee shot, the jogger off in the distance isn't going to make you feel worse by stopping, pointing at you, and laughing hysterically. (At least, I didn't) And he's not going to follow you around for the rest of your life reminding one and all about that grounder you hit. In radio, one mistake sometimes seems to last forever, at least for some people. Sometimes, it's more deserved than others; a serious lapse in judgement isn't something that people can overlook (unless your ratings are REALLY good, that is). But everybody has that fear that a loose comment, a wrong button hit at the wrong time, an accident will get them banned from the radio fraternity for life.

I guess this is all to say that you can't become so afraid to make a mistake that you play things too safe. Mistakes happen. It's one thing to post something racist and unforgivable on Twitter, and it's another to take a chance on a comment, a story, a topic, a format, a person, and failing. Nobody wants to be known for a mistake, but there's life after that, and while there might not be mulligans in real life, unless your failure is so spectaularly horrific that nobody will touch you, you do tend to get another shot. Imus, sure, and Stern, but there are others, hosts and PDs alike, who got second, third, and fourth chances after being fired. So step up, address the ball ("hello, ball!"), and hack away. I promise I won't laugh at you.

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Once again, I'm late with this thing, so I'll just point out that you can find all the usual show material you need at Talk Topics, the show prep column at All Access News-Talk-Sports, from news you may have missed to kickers and different takes on the headlines; this week, there's also "10 Questions With..." KYKN/Salem, OR PD and midday host Bill Post, and the rest of All Access with... oh, yeah, one other thing. This column now appears on the site in handy Web form, with comments and everything. You can go here, read this and pat columns, post comments, share it on Facebook, tweet it, e-mail it, and all that kind of stuff. So do that.

More: the Talk Topics Twitter feed is at twitter.com/talktopics. All Access Net News tweets are at twitter.com/allaccess. My own Twitter stuff is at twitter.com/pmsimon. The All Access iPhone app is available here. And there's always pmsimon.com for more of me, if you're feeling particularly masochistic.

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We're coming down to the wire for the Revlon Run/Walk for Women 2010 on May 8th in Los Angele; My wife Fran and I are once again raising money for women's cancer research and treatment and celebrating another year of survival. Your help is greatly appreciated (and needed), especially in these tough times; just go to https://www.revlonrunwalk.com/la/secure/MyWebPage.cfm?pID=533458 and enter your donation. Thank you!

Perry Michael Simon
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All Access News-Talk-Sports
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