Checked Out

It was Thursday evening when the anxiety set in, as it does every week. Gotta come up with an idea for a column. Wanna get the column done early so Friday isn't too crazy. Need an idea. Got nothing. Panic! That's the routine.

This time, I tweeted out this:

"I’m gonna need a decent radio or podcasting topic for Friday’s column Right now, I got nothin’. Again. So, typical Thursday night for me."

That's when many of you came to the rescue with ideas that I swear I'm gonna use. One good observation after another, on Facebook and Twitter, a wonderful example of crowdsourcing. It's likely that some of the topics you provided will relieve the anxiety I would otherwise experience in future weeks.

Naturally, I decided to go in another direction. I'm annoying that way (and other ways, but let's do one at a time). And, to be fair, this DOES have a trigger among the comments, one from eminent WPHT/Philadelphia weekend provocateur Walter M. Sterling, Esq., who suggested I write about what talk topics work on a long holiday weekend. I filed that away, then came back to it a little later after I realized why this week seemed more difficult than usual:

I checked out. Oh, I was still working -- I'm on duty Friday as if it's a typical Friday -- but while my body is sitting in the usual chair and my hands are typing, my brain is someplace else, probably at Citizens Bank Park with a beer and a cheesesteak watching the Phillies struggle again. (The rest of me gets to be there in a week, but not yet.) I'm just not wanting to think about work, or politics, or anything serious right now. It's Friday, and, even more so, it's the Friday before a two-and-a-third-day weekend. (Three for you slackers, but I never get a full weekend off. And, yes, this is an American holiday weekend, so to my friends in other countries, apply this to whatever long weekends or holidays you get.) So my brain is off looking for episodes 3 and 4 of "Twin Peaks" on the Roku and the rest of me is trying to carry on.

That's where your listeners' heads are. That's where YOU are. And in the past, I've always said that you have to develop the topics you use on the radio based on what your listeners' mindsets are, meaning that what's best for weekends and late nights is very different from what works on weekdays. At New Jersey 101.5, we played music on the weekends -- they still do. Most stations blow off weekends with infomercials and reruns, and nobody's mind is there, but I get the financial pressure that led to that. But some of you still do talk radio on the weekend, and some of you will have that especially difficult task of talking on the radio on Monday when everyone else has the day off, so what to talk about is still an issue.

And the last year and a half changed things somewhat. The news cycle now has no clock. Huge stories are breaking at all hours, every day. It's an exception to the no-politics-on-the-weekend rule: If Trump did something or the investigation's dropped another revelation out there and everyone's talking about it, you're totally justified in going there. In some cases -- especially if your station owns the news position in town -- you HAVE to go there. People are turning to you for the latest. You have to give it to them.

But that's not 24/7, and that's especially not going to be the case for the long weekend. So, what do you talk about if you have to talk about, you know, something? You can get a clue from social media, and I'm not talking about just looking at the Trending lists. Your friends and neighbors are posting links, and some of them will draw you in. Example: I just wasted... er, spent some time looking at Thrillist's 100 Best Burgers in America, because I really didn't want to bake my brain on politics at the moment. Then, an article about the drunkest city in America, based on a stupid poll and anointing -- you'll be shocked, SHOCKED, I tell ya -- Green Bay as the new number one, and Wisconsin as home to 10 of the top 20. Did I NEED to read those? Are those topics of critical importance? No and no, but on the Friday before a long weekend, that's what even people who otherwise want to hear about politics and breaking news are thinking about. Unless another massive revelation hits the news, I'm all about what's your favorite whatever. Or anything sports-related. Or something light and relatable, like dealing with, depending on where you are, the influx or outflow of tourists (we get an inflow, and traffic just sucks). Don't overload me with serious stuff unless it's really important serious stuff. I need the break.

So, if you're on the air this long weekend, or, really, any weekend, be aware of that mindset. You don't want to be the guy at the party who corners you and lectures you about some deadly serious matter while all you want to do is get at the chips and dip. It's the weekend. Lighten up, Francis.

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Where do you FIND those lighter topics? Same place you find serious topics and any other kind of topics: All Access News-Talk-Sports' Talk Topics. IT'S RIGHT IN THE NAME, it is. And it's totally free and accessible by clicking here and/or by following the Talk Topics Twitter feed at @talktopics with every story individually linked to the appropriate item. And there's the Podcasting section at AllAccess.com/podcasts.

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A reminder, though: Memorial Day is supposed to be a solemn remembrance of those who gave their lives in service to their country, so keep that in mind before you blurt out anything that doesn't fit the occasion. Turns out that we get Monday off not because it's National Mattress Sale Day or National Hamburger Day (that's Sunday. Really) but because of something that deserves a little more respect and thought.

And as I mentioned in passing, I'll be back east at the end of next week at that talk radio conference -- yes, ANOTHER one -- in New York, then taking a week at quarter-speed while taking some long-overdue days-partly-off; I expect to do a column next week, but news and topics may slow down a little after Thursday. We'll see how that goes. And if you'll be in New York for that thing, too, I'll see you there.

Perry Michael Simon
Vice President/Editor, News-Talk-Sports and Podcast
AllAccess.com
psimon@allaccess.com
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